So within the last month or so, i've decided that i am going to shift my academic track from essentially having little idea of what i was going to do, likely something involving graphic design, to a full focus on becoming a illustrator. I want to draw for a living. And that scares the crap out of me to say out loud for the first time in my life.
I've always had some small amount of natural talent at drawing, but never applied myself to get any better. My main reasoning was "i draw for fun, and making that my job would take all the fun out of it." But the more i think about my possible career paths the more i have begun to realize that its the only thing i could see myself truly enjoying as a profession.
Another doubt i always used as a excuse not to try for it was that it is a lot of work to be able to draw for a living. Not only do you have to be a master at your craft, but you have to put your own style to it and think outside the box or else you will never stand out and never get a job. And lets face it, im pretty damn lazy.
I'm honestly terrified. Terrified of failure, of trying to explain this to my father without making it sound like i am doomed to be a "starving artist" and most of all terrified that i go down this road and when i get to the end the thing I've always loved doing will become something i loath and becomes work.
In the end though i think i'm making the right choice. And this post will serve hopefully as a benchmark for this site seeing a more consistent and substantial flow of updates.